Think of the children! One of the last bastions of motherfucking coward politicians (but then I repeat myself) and their political lost causes made only more desperate by dragging out the ‘think of the terrorists,’ or the ultimate, ‘child porn’ trump-card arguments.
Because bad people use computers and phones, you should have no privacy on yours. Well bad people use homes, bedrooms, bathrooms, so I guess you shouldn’t have any privacy there. You know. For the children.
These motherfuckers couldn’t protect our financial markets from blatant manipulation resulting in the largest fucking financial collapse in the history of the world. They didnt bother investigating, much less finding even one evil motherfucker that labeled toxic mortgage backed securities as AAA in any of the ratings agencies. And to show how much they are the bitch of wallstreet, the ratings agencies then had the balls to downgrade the US of A from AAA after the entire clusterfuck, all while the DoJ/FTC/SEC sat with their collective fingers up each other’s asses. And the cherry on top of this I-cant-fucking-believe-how-fucking-incompetent-they-are cake is these same assholes hired Bernie Madoff to teach them how to operate better. It’s so fucking horrific, so profoundly the epitome of fucking government failure, that it sounds made up, but sadly isn’t.
So how do you deal with being such massive fuckups? Kill yourselves in shame? Hide from the angry masses of Americans with pitchforks (oh no, wait, lucky for the gov’t, the US public was taught their patriotic place was to be craven fucks that blindly listen to the government, and hey, that’s ok as long as they’re too fucking comfortable in their SUVs watching reality shows not having the balls to stand up for themselves or give enough of a fuck to bother with that shit)? No, you go on the offensive against the most successful do-good American company. First with a bullshit antitrust suit against eBooks that actually reduces competition and gives monopoly power to Amazon.
And now with the this bullshit about not wanting anybody to have any privacy, you know, for the children. Because…
“Guns don’t kill people. Dangerous people do.”
“Cars don’t kill people. Bad drivers do.”
“A child gets kidnapped? Totally Apple’s fault, not the kidnappers.” -lexxkoto
And all the while they’ve willfully ignored, basically, confessions and directions to those manipulating the fuck out of the market and Apple. “Hello, SEC? Anybody watching this?” I suspect we’ll be investigated next for saving the jobs of a company mismanaged into bankruptcy, because one of our terms was to make the shithole plant run 100% renewable, and well, behavior like that will need to be investigated.
I wish the shitbags at the DoJ/FTC/SEC (but I repeat myself) all had the nerve to just admit they love sucking on big juicy delicious wallstreet cock, day and night. And just admit they use the money we waste on these agencies to buy jars to store all the cum so they can stare at them dreamily in the hopes they can, one day, cycle out of the government and become shitbag lobbyists (and again, I repeat myself) or the wallstreet shitbags (I just cannot stop the repetition it seems) getting blown.
Hey, I have an idea. We’ll stop protecting the muppets we call citizens of the United States of America’s privacy and those of our other users as soon as the government officials go first with this openness and lack of privacy, or, I know, let’s call it transparency, yea, that’s it. You know, it’s for the children, right?
I want every shitbag in these government agencies to do the following: live stream their bathroom and bedroom activities 24/7, have their tax information made public, their income, bonuses, raises, performance reviews, amazon purchase lists (sex toys and all), credit card histories, video rentals, web surfing history, emails and instant messenger logs, medical records published (think how many children’s lives we can save if we monitor everyone’s health and can make predictive models, yea, that’s the ticket), physical measurements all throughout their lives, photos of their medicine cabinets, heck, all their photos and videos (including video of their colonoscopy), diary, etc…. and I want them to put it all up on pinterest and send it to the IRS, daily, so everyone can benefit from that social interaction, because, you know, think of the children, think how safe and secure we’ll all be, and besides, if you have nothing to hide… With them being public servants, they should be eager to be the first to go. As soon as they all do that, I’ll think about not protecting the privacy of our users.
Until then, the DoJ, FTC and SEC can all go and profoundly fuck themselves.